Thursday, December 17, 2009

'The Starbuck'

Location: Some locally-owned Coffee Shop

Characters (All regulars at the shop):

Jeroh: Male. Athlete at a local sports team. Good looking. Insecure of Morgan’s occasional homosexual nature.

Vikki: Female. Slightly plump, down to earth Hair Stylist. Wears glasses. Has a crush on Jeroh.

Samantha: Party Girl/Barista. A better artist than her boyfriend.

Morgan: Barista. Flamboyant, open sexuality which he teases Jeroh with from time to time.


Samantha: So I was at Tom’s show last night, and I’m sitting at a table with a couple of his friends..

Vikki: They still let him play shows? Didn’t he beat up some guy in the audience last week for saying that he sucks? (laughs)

Sam: They still let him play shows, Victoria. (to herself) ...within court ordered guidelines...

(Jeroh looks over from a book, concerned)

Sam: ...anyways this one guy kept bringing up all these sexual ‘moves.’ You know? Like donkey punch and stuff.

Vikki: Um... no?

(Jeroh grins, Morgan grins)

Sam: It was annoying, he just kept going on and on. Plus he kept calling me ‘Dawson’s Freak’ because he said Tom looks like James Van Der Beek....anyways, they were stupid. I would never do some of them.

Vikki: (To herself) ...cause you needed to say that last part.

Sam, thinking: One of them was sort of funny though.

Vikki: What was it?

Sam points across the street to their competitor, the Starbucks: It’s called the ‘Starbuck’

(Jeroh laughs to himself.)

Vikki looks at him: You know what it is?

Morgan: I know what it is.

Vikki looks to Morgan: I’m the only one that doesn’t? What is it?

Morgan grins, reluctant, looking to Sam.

Sam: Ok so the guy is doing you from behind, right? And then he shouts out the name of a celebrity, and (she motions with both hands in front of her) ‘bucks’ you really hard.

Jeroh bursts out laughing.

Sam: It’s not that funny. If Tom ever did that to me I’d.... well it would depend which celebrity.

Morgan: That’s the whole point. You clearly weren't listening.

Vikki: What do you mean?

Morgan: Well it’s like a game. If the girl stops and turns around then you picked the wrong one, but if she’s ‘oh yea...’ then you say another name and buck. If you can get three in a row then you try with an ass slap---a ‘slapaccino.’

Vikki: Seriously? People actually do shit like that? How do you know this anyways?

Morgan hesitates, looking at the floor: I read it on the TMZ website.

Vikki, incredulously: Oh my god! You’ve played the game!

Sam claps her hands: You have!

Jeroh tries to go back to his book.

Morgan shakes his head, blushing: No... I haven’t

Sam: He has, too, oh my god. Ok you have to tell us who it was!

Vikki: Tell us!

Morgan, smiling: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Jeroh forces a laugh, putting the book down: Come on, girls, leave him alone.... ...seriously.

Vikki, Sam: Tell us, tell us, tell us!

Morgan, smiling still: Ok! Ok! Just stop chanting, before someone comes in here and asks to buy a cellphone.

The girls listen eagerly. Jeroh tries not to.

Morgan: ...Ok first of all this guy was an idiot... but ok so we’re doing our thing, and he’s behind me, then out of the blue he says: Jonathan Franks

Everyone bursts out into laughter, trying to talk at the same time.

Vikki: Oh my god, the guy from Star Trek, and... what was that show? Beyond Belief ...(Fact or Fiction?)

Sam, excitedly: Fact or Fiction!

Jeroh, to himself: That’s fucking hilarious....

Sam: So what happened?

Morgan: I turned around. I was like ‘what the hell was that?’ the guy just sort of shrugged and said (disgusted with the words) ‘I had you pegged for a trekkie.’ I mean come on...did he have to say peg?

Sam: Pwned.

Morgan, shaking his head: Anyways, it’s a stupid move. All those moves are stupid. I mean who actually does takes it beyond the urban dictionary and does it?

Vikki: Tom’s friends?

Jeroh: Dawson’s Freak!

Sam: Who do you think was the freakiest person on Star Trek?

Vikki: Well Deanna Troy was definitely the most slutty.

Morgan rolls his eyes. “Cause she had a triangle-shaped cleavage? Come on she was an empath, she couldn’t help feeling horny around guys.”

Jeroh: I’d say Jordie LeForge.

Vikki, laughing: Levar Burton?

Jeroh: Definitely. Down there in the engineering section, you know that guy was swinging pipe. Plus he can see through clothes with his visor. I mean come on, tell me he hasn’t tied up a couple ensigns with the ‘warp injector coils’ if you know what I’m saying.

Vikki: I didn’t know you were such a Star Trek fan.

Jeroh: Oh yeah. Think about it: They’re all listening to Packard in the conference room and Jordie’s just sitting there with a big grin on his face. Know why? Cause Jordie’s streaming a steamy porn scene onto his visor and rubbin it out under the desk.

Vikki: That’s... gross.

Morgan rolls his eyes.

Sam, watching the two: Plus, Reading Rainbow. I mean hello?

Jeroh: .... hello...what?

Vikki: I bet Beverly Crusher gets a little action from Warf every now and then. A single mom, up there all alone...(is thinking to herself) She might need some ‘extra security’

Jeroh: Seriously, the Klingon?

Sam, whispering to to Sam behind the lattle machines: Oh my god.... Vikki has a crush on the guy whose head is crushed! Her fantasy is to be Crusher!

Morgan, after a moment of awe, whispering back: Oh my god Sam that was epic.

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