Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Life and death roll over in fire until they mate
A slice of time will do it' s job to see them separate
Never ever have I seen it done like this
Emotion everything outside the void called bliss
A mirror now will show me my true face
Stars cascade right out my eyes to see the edge of space
Just ask the question, come on just ask me please
I know the answer even before you can conceive

Step by step, into my plan, come prove that I'm still here!
Outside of time, these notes are mind, to the silence I shout fear!
For every space, the truth is faced. Just see it in your eyes.!
You hold the key, now come find me, allow me to demise!
I got future, in today. It's unclear, but not dismay.
In time I'll find who is looking back on me now
This time I'll love that I am here, and not in the clouds.
I got my life, that's pretty good. I'm under the knife, that's understood.
I don't know where we're driving, but these signs have dates
I know why we're dying, it's these corporate licence plates
I got my mind, defender of my soul, My third eye is blind, but not on the whole
The dream is too low, so my mind is high.
The shadows they grow, with their net in the sky.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

"Listen you lanky wisefuck, You need to go now.. before it becomes bad for your health" The suprisingly minty breath of the gorilla man before me seemed to cut through the music like the sound of fucking nextdoor.
I need to go? Where the hell am I? I started to laugh at this, holy fuck I'm messed up. The bouncer seemed to understand what state I was in and swiftly grabbed me by the arm and proceeded to pull me towards the door.
"If I were you, I'd call a cab and get home. You checked out upstairs a long time ago" said the bouncer with the goetee and the minty breath. Then again, they all had goetees.
"Roger that" I slurred out of my mouth and stumbled off. Now where was I going? I don't even recognize this part of the city. Fuck I'm messed up, taking those shrooms was not a very wise idea. The remeberance of this particular event seemed to instigate the sidewalk's sudden decision to turn into a moving sidewalk. I stopped walking, just to make sure that I could without the sidewalk carrying me away. I had two options that I saw, or could even focus my mind enough to think about right now: 1. I could smoke some pot. The advantage here is that I could think a bit more clearly, it would probably negate some of the liquor. The downside to this is that while clearing my mind a bit, it also speeds it up and makes me freaked out while on shrooms, and a bad trip is not what I need right now. The alternative is to take the pill of E I have on me and try to pick up. The downside to this, combining liquor with an mx-bomb is a rather interesting mix and the results tend to be the same.
"Hey there sexy"
The voice hit me like bad poker hand, unexpected noises can sound quite weird when you're zooming. I turned my head around to see the face I had not seen in a very long time. She was completely different, mature, sophisticated. The only thing that had not changed was the fact she was sexy as hell.
"Veronica, Hi, God you look incredible" I said, and I had to say, even though her tits, and the rest of her red button up shortsleeve was starting to move in ways only capable when on hallucinagens.
"I could say the same thing about you, wow you've discovered the gym I see. No offense, but you were always sort of a nerd" The woman's snide comment was very much expected, and the small grin that slipped across her face might as well have been a neon sign. You see she was, and so continues to be now a slut at heart. I knew her back in high school, to be honest I didn't think she'd go anywhere.
"Do you wanna get somethin to eat? or Drink perhaps?" I said, in a rather suave manor.
"Do you don't have to yell" She said, in a much more suave mannor. "Here come on follow me" She said as she walked past me. "You should probably do what she says" her ass whispered to me and signaled for me to follow. With a snide smile of my own I quickly popped in the E. My life is great I thought.
"So Veronica, I think it's only fair to tell you now that I'm completely fucked up, I... I don't really know what's even going on" explained as I caught up, it took a while as the sidewalk was moving in the opposite direction.
"Can you fuck?"
"I would think so yes"
"Well then that's all that matters, we're going to my house, it's near here." She gestured with her delicate hand in a swooping fashion, so in other words, in no direction whatsoever. Why do you even care? What is a direction when you really think about it?


The question seemed to haunt my thoughts on the way to her house, the walk could very well have been around 17 hours or maybe just 11 minutes. Time distortion on this many drugs is unreal, especially with shrooms. Fortunately for me, they also make me talkative and social, especially now that the E is kicking in. Even though my head was a portal to chaos, the words I spouted seemed to make increasingly more and more sense. That is, as I tried my best to not talk about my self and lie accordingly when I needed to. I shifted my mind now to a move objective view of myself and the world, shrooms are great for this. I had to say, I looked quite good, I was always a fashionable guy, and even though my life was a mess and I was broke, I always had enough to stay looking nice. As for Veronica, she looked better than half of the people who raised an eyebrow at the sight of my pupils. I might be fucked up, but everyone gets fucked up once and a while, Veronica thinks I am successfull, and that's all that matters.
The sidewalk stopped us infront of a large apartment building, I had seen it before, I recognized this place, and it gave me comfort. "This is it" she said, rather happily for someone who is so cool. She took my hand and proceeded to lead me towards the main doors. Her touch sent a chill through me that seemed to heat up every nerve I had. Oh yeah the E was in full force, I was holding the arm of promise, of home, it feels so fucking good.
We stepped out of the elevator that i have to say, started to freak me out. If you think outside the box, literally, you'll find two occupants enclosed inside a giant metel cube. Not a pleasant thought when you're in that state of mind. The doors however, did open and I was greeted by quite an upscale interior, in fact as my mind strugged to keep up with time itself I realized she owned the entire floor.
"Look at you, what do you want to do to me you sexy nerd"
Make you my wife I thought.

(To be continued)
Thoughts are quick, and if they stick you'll often be amazed
But you I'll pick, you make me sick, I'm caught up in your gaze
Don't pin me down, don't want this crown, won't wear it to your grave
Your legs arn't shut, you clench me but, it's you I try to save
The walls are bruised, I'm half amused, now come and lay beside
No longer fused, cannot be rude, I hate you say then sigh
Before I know, you make me grow, You hold on for dear life
Down you go, yes nice and slow, let's fuck into the night

Monday, May 16, 2005

The wheels are spinning on the road of my life
But every once a while there comes a knife
So take a seat, and make yourselfs at home
I got the beat, ears will ring like your phone
I never really hate but I get pissed off
I will relate, how she hit me where I'm soft
Her smile outshone, the searchlight of my heart
Her voice was so perfect, I knew from the start
Writing this now it makes me want to cry
I think I can go on though, for you I'll try
The smiles were sunny, in the labs of our chemistry
"I think you're really funny" is what she said to me
There was some past with her friend, this I can admit
So I talked with her about it, in a time I saw fit
She was in a jail, behind the bars of my happenstance
I drained my heart for bail, to show her my own innocence
If you say you didn't feel it, I would say that you'd just lied
We would talk from late at night, until the sunrise sky
Like that urge to sneeze, suddenly it was no more
Random like a breeze, that cut me to the core
I could be crazy, in fact that's probably the case
But it doesn't phase me, just tell me to my face
You didn't say a thing, not even when I asked
It's like the show just ended, and we were the cast
Tell me it's cause of her, or that I'm not hot enough
Tell me something else, cause I'm definately hot enough
Tell me that your ex, wants back in your life
You really shouda told me, and saved me so much strife
Hell just make something up, if you really do not know
Tell me to go to hell, just tell me where to go
I should have seen it coming, but i tend to not assume
When your feelings sent you running, locked you in a room
I will not judge, and I will not cry
But you know what? fuck her.. just between you and I

Sunday, May 15, 2005

My words are tight, like a boyscout knot
I’ve seen the light, though they yell/shout not
I wake up every day, a god to my thoughts
So listen when I say, music’s on the block
So listen up y’all I got a story I wanna tell
From the drop of the ball, they were sentenced right to hell
With shoes that sorta smelled and the dope they tried to sell
It’s the dawn of an age, as these letters hit the page
Music as a compass to navigate this maze
Lyric vandalism, Rebel soliloquism,
Hip Hop was the answer, but now it’s our damn mission
Pioneers rose to the top as they looked up at the judge
Pac had a vision, but now the ink is smudged
The book they say is foreign, without pain we can’t relate
Now they say it’s boring, as your write from your estate
Wheels, bitches, more ice than in the tray
This feels, itches, somewhere we’ve gone astray
This isn’t just quite math, but the division is quite clear
Rappin out their joints, not to objective ear.
There is a difference from art, and a clever mix of words
So where is it I start? To free you from the herds?
It’s not because I hate, I really don’t resent
I just see a dollar, where there’s only fifty cent

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I fell asleep against your gaze,
I dreamt of that which does amaze
I am the flag, in the storm of your sigh
I am the deck, in the sea of your eye
I am the police, who patrol for your smile
Let’s lay here forever, and then for a while

Sunday, May 08, 2005

The rain’s been falling for quite a while now, I wonder if it will ever end? I thought this as I opened the small bag, all the hope in my life was contained within. “Time to do some baking” I said out loud, this followed by a small laugh. The walls arched their eyebrows in surprise. As I went about my business, naked and hunched over the windowsill and sitting on a shitty stool, my gaze shifted down towards the crying streets and finally settled on what appeared to be a business man. He was the definition of regular, presumably lost as he slowly walked, looking around and up ahead. This man definitely did not know where he was going, what lied ahead on this street. With the small floods running down the slightly slanted concrete, the suit almost looked like he was walking on a treadmill, one powered by the sly electricity of the corporate engine.
It’s a simple process really. 1. You take out how much heroin you want, usually putting it on a spoon with a little bit of spit and just like that, you’re ready to bake. 2. Add flame until the powder melts into the elixir of life. 3. Suck this into the syringe and after using a belt or something to find a vein, inject. BAM just like that, homemade divine intervention.
I slumped against the side of the window, a small grin sneaking it’s way onto my face as reality fucked me into the best orgasm possible. It’s raining really hard. The suit also knew this, now stopped trying to both shield his cell phone from the incessant rain, while trying to get it to work. I could see the antenna desperately clawing at the bombardment that was the sky, but it was no use, no one was listening, no one that he needed at least. I could see everything now, I could see the eyes watching the poor man, and hear the mouths. For some this man was a waste, an alcoholic abusive millionaire father. For some, this man used to be themselves. Either way, all his material possessions didn’t mean a thing where he is. There are no banks, no cell phone signals, empty except for the people.
I could hear everything; I could see it all now. “I am God right now” I thought. The walls laughed. I pictured myself, looking out the window of a skyscraper, looking below at the world I owned. I pictured myself looking into the eyes of the woman I loved. And then I saw…
* * *

Something hit the ground about a block back on the street, Frank turned around to see another object falling, it was skinny, but the tears were coming down so hard it seemed to push the object towards the ground even faster, when it hit he could hear breaking glass. From behind his $900 designer glasses Frank’s eyes flickered up to the window sill the stuff had fallen from, only to see a limp skinny fellow halfway out of the window. “People are dying left right and centre on this street” he thought to himself, and let out a small laugh. The man pointing the gun at Frank arched an eyebrow in surprise.
“You think this is funny Trump? All the clothes off, now. You’re gonna die either way, but I don’t want blood on your shit” the darkness behind the gun said in a cool voice. “That’s right, for you, all these raindrops might as well be bullets, this street has no end for you, Frank”
“You know what? My wife hates me” Frank paused as his own words seemed to change the raining bullets back into tears, if only for a second. “I’m richer than you can imagine, I probably own this street, and the crack you smoke. At night I stand and look down at the city, people like you, you’re an ant to me.” He paused a second again, scared the darkness might shoot him before he could finish his final rant. “But it all came with a price, I seem to have lost all emotion, I’ve probably shortened the earth’s lifespan by about 300 years, I’m cut off, half unconscious to the world. My wife won’t even look at me, let alone fuck me, I just came down here to get laid but my car broke down, I just wanted to feel alive, because as far as the world’s concerned, I’m dead... Satan if you will. So you want me to get undressed? Fuck you, shoot me... it’ll be bliss”
The darkness laughed, “OK” and with a quick squeeze of the trigger unloaded a scorching hot shot into his arm, then three more into his chest. The impact blasted frank off his feet, he was in the air just long enough to remember every single horrible moment in his life, but couldn’t for the... life of him, think of a moment of joy. The impact didn’t even seem to hurt, he was past feeling now, all he could do was listen and look, his vision was fading quickly, but he could see it all, every single raindrop, he could hear every single tear that’s ever hit the ground. And then he saw..

* * *
Clarence lowered the gun and quickly put it back into his coat pocket. He stared for a moment at the man he had just killed, a smooth puddle of blood now beginning to slowly form around the man's otherwise untouched suit. “I can see the sun behind the rain?” Clarence said to himself puzzled. He licked his lips in the dry night air and began to undress the corpse.